Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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