omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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