They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
