she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
