you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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