there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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