This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize