She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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