You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
