So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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