Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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