Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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