i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
They have beer where we have blood.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
