Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
