ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
