the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
