You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
