Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just puked most of my soul out..
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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