i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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