If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
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All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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