This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
