even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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