Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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