I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
