..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
