Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
