We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
