hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
