her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
