Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
