were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
