You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
