1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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