I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
