It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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