This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
