Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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