Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
