You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
