the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
