OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
