When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
