never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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