I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
