Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
