do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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