I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
