Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
