She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
