tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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