what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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